Grief & healing: Appreciating joys of becoming an American

My dear husband Baheej became an American citizen just shortly before we were married. He already had a green card (permanent resident) when we met. The college where he was teaching in Colorado sponsored him.

But I had the privilege of watching the process for the five-year waiting period and then attending the beautiful citizenship ceremony, taking the oath of allegiance ceremony. It was beautiful and moving event.

He loved this country, his new home and was so proud the day he was naturalized. And he soon got his U.S. passport, which allowed us to basically travel anywhere.

You know, when we are born here, our privilege and freedom could be taken for granted. But Bajeej never did. He truly appreciated our freedom and democracy.

I know these attitudes infiltrated his teaching. He always taught from a cross-cultural perspective, relying on his travels and the many countries where he spent time, many of which we went together. In teachings he always pointed out the comparison with the our life in the here.

He traveled a lot in the summer when the college was on break. If he traveled to a country which was not democratic, he said he always felt like kissing the ground when returning to the USA. He said he loved the way you could be yourself here.

Anyway, it’s because of Baheej I became more aware if how lucky I was to be born in the USA. And it’s so true we are very fortunate here.

The point is: I’m glad Baheej was here to remind me we are fortunate to be born here. And sometimes it takes a new perspective to appreciate our good luck. I learned a lot from him and this feeling will always be with me. We should never take good fortune for granted.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.